If you struggle with perfectionism, then you know it robs you of the ability to be fully present to what you’re experiencing. You can’t simply be because you’re too consumed by bracing for the worst. One of the most beautiful results of my work to break free from believing that I have to be perfect in order to be worthy is that I am open to and accepting of exactly where I am.
I’ve traded perfection for possibility. Unburdened from the onslaught of “should's," the narrative in my head is no longer about what I lack, but about what I'm learning.
As a result, I'm much more open to what life is teaching me – including the game of tennis.
I picked up a racket for the first time in May, and on the occasion of my first doubles win, I'm reflecting on the life lessons I’m learning: My fear of letting someone down is an area in which there is still work to do. I used to not know why I was so fearful all of the time, but now I understand that a lot of my fear is about disappointing someone I care about. My environment may change, but the fear remains. It’s no longer my boss but my tennis partner I fear letting down. That’s the thing about our conditioned tendencies – they are pervasive, and a change of scenery doesn't change your internal composition. The difference now is I have tools to work through my fear in a healthier way, like getting curious about it instead of beating myself up for being afraid. Big feels don't have to mean a big impact. If I have a couple of mistakes in a row, I feel my body get energetically charged. In response, I take some deep breaths to settle my nervous system and focus on the point at hand. Being present to and accepting the way you feel in the moment is key. Only then will you have the power to make a conscious choice about how you want to respond. You don’t have to be perfect to win. Tennis is a game of errors, and you make a lot of ‘em. Despite that reality, you can still come out on top. And bonus: Turns out the more mistakes I make, the easier it is to move through experiencing them. Winning is FUN. It’s important to take stock of a victory and reflect on the hard work that brought you to this point – and CELEBRATE GROWTH! This type of reflection would not have been possible in my old mindset. Trying something new (yes, even something like tennis) – and risking failure – would have been too high of stakes. Immediately no.
God didn't create you to white knuckle your way through life. Like you, He grieves over your hurt and wants to breathe new life into those tender places. He loves to see His daughters grow and will be with you every step of the way, but you have a role to play.
If you want things to be different, you’re going to have to do some hard work. It requires taking an honest look at what you’ve experienced and accounting for the impact those experiences have had on you.
We're always writing a story of who we are and how we fit into our world based on our experiences, but…how true is the story you’ve been writing?
Exploring your story is some of the most important work you can do in your life. And it’s not just about you – it’s about the people that love you, the God that created you and the world that needs what only you can give.
Every day I’m helping women align their stories with what God says is true about them. They've decided now is the time because they recognize that what they have been believing about themselves is holding them back from living the life they long for, and that doesn't work for them anymore.
If you are ready to dig in so you can start letting go, I invite you to have a conversation with me. You do not have to do this alone. Let's talk it out and get you moving toward possibility, so you don't miss out on what God wants for you.